Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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