Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
