so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
