i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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