just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
