why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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