okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I understand Curling. That high.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
