Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
