Where did you get a picture of my penis
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize