dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
