i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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