the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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