ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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