Best friends brother. Beat that.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
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We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
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One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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