even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
And then he peed in my hair
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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