So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize