She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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