I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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