Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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