My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize