once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
