well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I didn't notice because vodka
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize