Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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