Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
oh god the rape fog is back!
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Are we still banned from the library?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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