thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
