I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Sext me about skeletons
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
