Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
