I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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