What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
