You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
