we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He shit in the fireplace
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
