New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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