My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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