I can text with my tongue
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
so much tequila, so little girl.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
