the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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