He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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