bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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