I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
And then my night got REAL pukey
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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