I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
