In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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