you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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