He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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