Welp...herpes.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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