I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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