she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
