I accidentally burped into my bong.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I have post one night stand depression
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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