I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
