....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
