youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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