the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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