People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize