Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
