my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
