what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
