I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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