fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
