thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize