I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
