Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
