From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
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