Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
