...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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